I wish my lawn were emo so it would cut itself.

“Whack Whack Whack” came a rapping at my door.
“WOOT!” I exclaimed, jumping from the floor.

Peering through the window, I saw the brown man.
He was my own little Santa Claus,
and he reeked of sausages from a can.

“My Xbox is fixed!” I had been so very bored
as I spat at Excite Truck, caring to play it no more.

It was the UPS man, “I’ve got your Xbox!” he boasted.
I thought, “Great, the box is broken and it’s toasted.”

Lo and behold, the box was intact,
Taped up, unlabeled, and unmarked, in fact.

“Heeey, How did you know it was an xbox” I whined.
“That’s easy. I deliver this box all the time.”

I opened the box, and removed my 8 dollar compensation
for buying a product that’s breaking all across the nation.